Avoiding Intimacy Page 10

  “You’ll make no one happy but yourself…if you are even happy,” she said, glaring at him.

  He smiled. “I’ll let you think on that one,” he said before turning and leaving.

  Chyna watched him walk out of the room, and as soon as he was gone, she crumbled on to the cushion. She shook desperately, unable to believe the argument they had just gotten into and everything that had just happened. She couldn’t get his words or his hands or his mouth out of her head. What had she done?

  All she knew was that she needed to get it together before Adam got back. He would know something was up if she was shaking and near tears. He would want to know what had happened, and she couldn’t tell him yet, not like this. It wasn’t fair to him. Nothing she had done was fair to him.

  She took a few deep, healing breaths, trying to calm her pounding heart, as she pushed back the oncoming tears. This was ridiculous. This was why she didn’t date people. She liked to fuck around, and it had always been okay in the past because she hadn’t been attached.

  No matter what happened tonight, all she knew was that she didn’t deserve Adam, not by a long shot.

  She was composed by the time Adam walked back into the room.

  “Hey, John already left. He hopped in the cab with Nitya. It took forever because there were so many other people. He was blessed with perfect timing. You ready to leave?”

  Chyna was amazed that her facial expression didn’t even flicker when he told her that John went with Nitya. Of course, he would go somewhere to get laid. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

  “I think Carl is waiting outside,” he said with a smile, putting his arm around her waist as they walked out.

  “Great,” she said, hating what she knew lay ahead.

  Carl drove them back across town, and soon, they were parked out front of her building. Chyna slid out of the car, and Adam followed. Her doorman, Bernard, opened the door, greeting them warmly despite the late hour.

  “Man, I’m beat,” Adam said when the elevator deposited them on the top floor. “Working last night really wiped me out.”

  “I’m a little tipsy,” she murmured in response, pulling her gold key out of her purse as she walked down the hallway.

  “Yes, you are. Maybe a little more than tipsy,” he said with a smile, deftly extracting the key out of her hand and opening the door. “You should try to sleep it off.”

  She walked through the foyer and kicked off her heels before padding across the clean white carpet. Chyna sighed, looking at the floor, and then she glanced back up at Adam. Here goes nothing. “Adam.”

  He followed her, yawning wide when he made it to the end of the foyer. “Yeah, sweetheart?”

  God, she did not want to do this, but she couldn’t lie. He was too good for her, and she knew it. He might as well be clued in.

  “John kissed me.”

  The silence was excruciating. It was like the anticipation of the roller coaster ticking slowly up to the top of the hill before plummeting down the other side. She didn’t know if she should speak and try to explain. Instead, all she did was stand there, staring at him.

  “Come on, Chyna,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s too late for this.”

  Of all the reactions, that had not been the one she was expecting. “What?”

  “John didn’t kiss you.”

  “Yes, he did,” she insisted. “When you took the others to the cab, he kissed me! He tried to take advantage of me.”

  Adam sighed heavily. “Do you really expect me to believe that?” he asked, glancing up at her finally.

  “I do,” she murmured.

  “This is my brother we’re talking about.”

  “Don’t you think I know that?” she asked, flabbergasted by his refusal to believe her. She thought he deserved the truth, and he wouldn’t even listen to it.

  “No, you’re not thinking, and you clearly don’t know anything. Nothing,” he said, enunciating the word very clearly. “John is my brother. He would never do that. In fact, I can’t even believe I have to justify his behavior. I know him. I’ve known him my entire life, and he would never in a million years do this. Not to me.”

  “So, what? I’m a liar?” she asked, her anger rising quickly. “I’m just your lying girlfriend?”

  “I take a lot of shit from you, Chyna. You get away with a lot of shit, alright?” he said, a bite cutting through his voice that she had never heard. “But, I would be the liar if I didn’t say that you’re making this a bigger deal than it really is. You blow everything out of proportion. I don’t get it, but I’ve endured it because I care about you. You can’t bring this shit up when you’re drunk this late and expect me to take you seriously.”

  “I’m not drunk!” she cried back, infuriated. She was tipsy. She’d had a few drinks, but that was it. She hadn’t done anything wrong, and Adam wouldn’t even believe her.

  “Please, Chyna, I know when you’re drunk. Stop being a drama queen.”

  “A drama queen?!” she all but shouted at him. “Are you fucking serious? I come to you with this, and you call me a drama queen?”

  “Yes! God, how do you think people see you?” he asked, slamming his fist in the foyer wall. “You’re a big fucking drama queen! All John had to do was look at you for you to think he wanted to get with you, Chyna. That’s how you treat everyone else.”

  “I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but your girlfriend is wanted by every fucking guy who looks at her!”

  “See!” he said, clenching his fists at his sides, restraining himself. “Drama queen! You take the cake! This is my brother!”

  “Then, why do you think I brought it up?” she yelled back. “You think I wanted to hurt you with this?”

  “I don’t know what you wanted,” he yelled, barely holding it together. “You probably just misinterpreted whatever happened. You drank enough to blackout tonight. Do you even remember the night?”

  “I can’t believe this shit!” she cried. She was shaking from her anger. “I am not drunk! I know my limits. I try to tell you the truth. I try to be honest, and you throw it all back in my face!”

  “Well, imagine how I feel!” he cried. “I do everything for you, and you know I worship John. Yet, you still tell me that he—what? He tried to take advantage of you? Are you fucking kidding?”

  “Fucking ridiculous! You can’t even trust your own girlfriend to tell you the truth.”

  “From how it sounds, I shouldn’t trust you farther than I can throw you!” he yelled back at her angrily.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “You know what? Fuck it! Just fuck it!” he said, throwing up his hands. He ran a hand back through his hair in frustration. “Find someone else to deal with all the drama, Chyna! I’m done! This shit is out of control. You had to bring him into this.” He pointed his finger at her like he was going to say something else, but then he just shook his head and walked out of the door.

  He walked out and left her. He left her all alone. Who does that?

  Chyna grabbed her cell phone out of her bag. She was furious. Who the hell did he think he was? He couldn’t just walk out on her. She chewed on her lips, her hands shaking, as she searched for Alexa’s number. She wanted him to come back. She wanted him to fix this.

  She had been the one to mess things up, but John had been the instigator. She hadn’t even really done anything wrong. She just had bad thoughts, but who didn’t have those?

  By the time she found Lexi’s number, her heart was racing, her palms were sweaty, and tears were streaming from her eyes. How could he handle all this so callously? Why wouldn’t he believe her? She clicked Call on the phone and placed it to her ear, slumping down into her leather sofa.

  “Hello?” Lexi answered.

  “Lexi...” Chyna cried. She never called her Lexi, but she just wasn’t thinking clearly tonight. Hysterics were taking over, and she couldn’t calm herself down. She needed h
er best friend.

  “Chyna, are you okay?” Lexi asked.

  “No, oh my God, no, I’m not,” Chyna told her, not able to stop the tears.

  “What happened? Chyna, calm down. It’ll be okay. Just tell me what happened,” Lexi said reassuringly.

  “I don’t know. I just...I don’t know where to begin,” Chyna said, wondering how she had gotten to this point. Had she really been all that wrong? She had told Adam everything.

  “Just start wherever, C. Tell me from the beginning. Are you safe? Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you? Do I need to call someone to come get you?” Lexi asked, nearing hysterics herself.

  “No, no, I’m not hurt...not physically. It’s just...Adam. Alexa, it’s Adam,” she whispered into the phone. It was physically painful for her to utter the words.

  “Adam?” Lexi asked anxiously. “Is he alright? Did something happen?”

  Chyna chewed her bottom lip and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, begging the tears to stop. She needed to tell Alexa. She needed her to know, and she needed her to understand what had happened. She couldn’t keep it all bottled up, and Adam hadn’t believed her. Alexa needed to believe her.

  “Chyna, what happened?” Lexi demanded.

  As much as she wanted to tell Lexi, her stomach twisted at the thought, and her heart hammered in her chest wildly. “Oh, God, Alexa. I can’t talk about it. It’s awful. We got into a horrible argument, absolutely horrible argument. My chest hurts unlike anything I’ve ever imagined,” Chyna whispered, her voice pained. “He was so calm at first, and then the floodgates opened. We both just screamed at each other. I don’t know what I’m doing!”

  “Oh, Chyna,” Lexi murmured softly. “I’m so sorry. Did you guys break up?”

  Chyna stopped to consider the question. Oh my God, had they broken up? Was that what had just happened? “I don’t know. Yes. No,” she moaned, wishing she knew the answer. “Maybe. He was so mean to me. I don’t know what we are anymore…”

  “Maybe it was just a misunderstanding,” Lexi reasoned. “Tell me what happened.”

  Chyna sniffled a few times into the phone. She might as well start from the beginning. Here goes nothing. “Adam’s brother, John, lives in the city, but he’s a businessman who travels all over the world. He’s not here much, so I’ve never met him.” Chyna began setting the scene for Lexi. She wanted her to understand. She wanted her to see what she had gone through—how he had been her type and how it had all gone horribly wrong.

  “Well, he was in town for the weekend, and Adam wanted to introduce me to him. I thought it was a big step.” Her tears renewed, and she broke down on the phone.

  It had been a big step. Adam adored John, and he had wanted them to be around each other. He had forced them around each other, but John had taken it too far. Chyna sniffled a few more times before continuing.

  “The three of us went out and had a few drinks. I tried to be low-key and handle my liquor. I wanted to make an impression,” Chyna said, summarizing the weekend for Lexi in one swoop.

  It didn’t matter how much time they had spent together because she had tried to be smart about it. She had tried to be smart about John, but she had found out that he hadn’t wanted that from the start. She had certainly made an impression on him, but now, it was clear that it wasn’t the right one.

  Chyna took a breath before speaking again. “John turned out to be very similar to Adam. I mean they’re brothers, what was I expecting? Well, you know Adam. He’s just a really nice guy. And well, his brother was exceptionally charming that night.” God, he was so charming all weekend. “I mean...not that Adam isn’t charming, but—” She broke off, not wanting to finish that train of thought. Adam was gone. He had walked out on her.

  “No, I get it,” Lexi told her.

  Chyna’s thoughts fluttered back to John and the kind of person he had been when in Chyna’s presence. Lexi needed to understand that. Chyna hadn’t meant for it to go as far as it did.

  “Anyway, John knew the right thing to say about everything. He was an accomplished businessman. He’d traveled the world. His family adored him. He’s such a smooth talker, and by the end of the night, he had me eating out of his hands.”

  She had been eating out of his hands all along, but tonight had been the worst. The kiss with Nitya…the tattoos…when he kissed her. She shuddered, not wanting to think about it, but she knew she had to continue.

  “Oh, Chyna, you didn’t...do anything with him, did you?” Lexi asked, clearly terrified of the answer.

  “What?” Chyna snapped, knowing how offended she sounded. She hadn’t done anything! John had done everything! She had done the right thing by stopping it before it went any further. She had told Adam, yet he had still left her! “No! I wouldn’t do that to Adam! That’s the point. Argh! That’s the whole fucking point, chica!”

  “Sorry, C, I had to ask,” Lexi apologized quickly.

  “No, I know,” she grumbled. She was being defensive. It was all still too fresh. “Just angry, and with everything else tonight…I can’t.” Tears stung her eyes, and she wished Alexa were there to hug her. “Lexi, you have to know it wasn’t me. John’s the kind of guy who gets whatever he wants, takes what he wants. You know those kind of guys!”

  They were the kind of guys she had always gone for. They were the ones she had let take her home. Lexi certainly knew what kind of guys she was talking about. She had seen Chyna with them far too often. Lexi had been with them herself. Wasn’t her Jack just the type?

  “Well, it soon became apparent that I was what John wanted,” Chyna told her, thinking back to the pool with his eyes roaming her body, the club with his hands on her body, and tonight, with his tongue down her throat. It should have been apparent what was coming. She should have fought against it harder. “I should have seen it coming from a mile away. And when I did see it, it was too late. Adam didn’t believe me. He refused to see it. He loves his brother so much that he was blind to him—blind to his arrogance and fucking stupidity.

  “I think if he actually knew his brother, he would have never left me alone with him. But he did leave us alone. John was smooth, but it wasn’t anything I hadn’t seen before. Before Adam, I would have gone for him any day of the week.” She figured that went without saying, but she had to say it. She needed to see the contrast. “But I’m different now! John had his hands all over me as soon as Adam left the room, but I turned him down. Alexa, I turned him down.”

  Chyna paused for a moment, pushing her hair off of her face. She sat up a little straighter. It felt good admitting it. She might have had terrible intentions, but when push came to shove, she had done the right thing.

  “When I turned him down, he got furious. He didn’t understand why I didn’t want this to continue, as if me dating his brother didn’t matter,” Chyna told her, remembering John’s anger at her rejection and everything that had followed. “I felt like Adam should know what happened, so told him, and he wouldn't believe me. He said I was being a drama queen, and I had probably misinterpreted what had gone on.” She still couldn’t believe the things he had said. Where had her understanding boyfriend gone in that moment? Her anger returned with that thought.

  “But I didn’t misinterpret anything! I swear I didn’t. Tell me you believe me!” Chyna said, breaking down at the thought of Adam leaving. “God, someone has to fucking believe me!”

  “Chyna, I believe you. Of course, I believe you. If you wanted another guy, then you could have them every night of the week. Why would you make up something about his brother?”

  “Right! Ugh! Why didn’t he see that? We got in a terrible argument about it. He wouldn't believe anything I said,” Chyna cried, feeling a fresh wave of tears coming on. “We stood there yelling at each other until he got so angry; he just stormed out on me. He left me standing there all alone. Who leaves me? Who does that?” Chyna just kept repeating that to herself. She didn’t understand it.

  “I’m so sorry. I think you'll need to g
ive him some time, then it’ll work out. He really cares for you. I know he does. He’s going to want to work things out. I don’t know his brother or anything, but the way you talk about him makes it seem that Adam idealizes him. He probably doesn’t want to believe those things about John. He just took it out on you, which is wrong, but I think he’ll realize he was wrong. Once he sees how much of an idiot he was, he’'ll come around,” Lexi said.

  “You think so?” Chyna asked, hope in her voice for the first time. She really wanted to believe that Adam would come around.

  “Yeah, I do,” Lexi told her.

  Chyna really wanted to believe her, but sitting all alone in her living room after Adam had just left her made that really hard. “Alexa, I still don’t know. I don’t know how to handle any of this. I wish you were here. I need you.”

  “I can come home if you need me to. You know I’ll always be here for you,” Lexi told her soothingly.

  “You’d end your vacation early for me?” she asked, her voice in awe. She seriously could not ask for a better friend. “I know you don’t get to see him all that often.”

  “You’re my best friend,” Lexi told her as if that solved everything. “Let me talk to him, and I’ll see what I can do.”

  “Thanks...I’m so sorry. I hate taking you away,” she said, the sniffles coming back.

  “No need to be sorry. You had no idea this was going to happen. Hopefully, I’ll be with you soon, girl,” Lexi said. She said her good-byes and then hung up.

  Chyna hung up the phone after her. Alexa couldn’t get here fast enough. Chyna didn’t know what to do in the meantime, so she just curled up into a ball on her couch and kept repeating the same thing over and over again.

  He left her all alone. Who would leave her? Who does that?

  CHAPTER 7

  PRESENT

  Chyna was still in Marco’s one-of-a-kind dress when they finally made it back to his apartment. It was immaculately clean and well designed. Marco had a taste for antiques and furnished his apartment in ancient old relics from centuries past. Above all, Chyna coveted the priceless artwork gilded in large gold frames, depicting far-off countrysides, sky-high cathedrals, and the elegance and poise of beautiful women. The whole place was gorgeous and tasteful as if you were walking into a Duke’s parlor from the seventeenth century rather than a fashion designer’s home in the twenty-first century.