The Breaking Season Page 18

  He frowned and withdrew like I’d hit him. “I don’t particularly like the comparison.” He gritted his teeth. “Though I do see what you mean.”

  “If I were in Fiona’s position, the first person I would have turned to was Penn.”

  Camden’s hands balled into fists. “I like that comparison even less.”

  I held up a hand. “I’m just saying that Fiona turns to you when things are hard, like I used to do with Penn. I guess… I kind of understand why she was here, asking you to deal with Kurt.”

  “Are you saying that you believe I’m not the father?”

  I slowly nodded. “I guess I am.”

  “Good.” He stood and held his hand out to me. I let him lift me to my feet. “Now, my question.” I raised an eyebrow. “I’ve been trying to call you all week. You’ve ignored all my calls. Why did you decide to come here today?”

  I swallowed. Oh, right. The real reason that I’d hurried over here after my doctor’s appointment. Now that the time was here and we finally had so much out in the open, I clammed up. I didn’t know if I was ready to tell him. Telling Whitley had been hard enough.

  “I think I’ll take that drink,” I said with a half-smile.

  He shot me that knowing look. “One drink, and then you will be as forthright as I was.”

  “Okay,” I told him as he walked across the room to the wet bar.

  I was not ready for this conversation, but I knew that it was time to put it all on the table.

  25

  Katherine

  Camden returned with two glasses of scotch. The good stuff. I didn’t normally drink scotch, but it felt appropriate for the moment. I took the drink out of his hand and took a small sip, letting the heat burn through me.

  Here goes nothing.

  “I went to the doctor today.”

  He had just settled into his seat and came half out of it again at my words. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” I gestured him back into his seat. He reluctantly sat, but his gaze still weighed on me heavily. “I think.”

  “You think?”

  I took a deep breath. This was going to be fun. “I’m worried that I can’t have a baby.”

  Camden stilled completely. “What?”

  “I… I think earlier complications in my life might have made me infertile. So, I went to the doctor.”

  “What did they say?” he asked, his voice suddenly low and almost… afraid?

  “Nothing.” I laughed sardonically and ran a hand back through my hair. After another gulp of the scotch, I continued, “They told me to stop taking my birth control and to go home and have sex. That I was stressing myself out.”

  “That’s bullshit. If you’re afraid, they should test you,” he demanded.

  “Yes, well, I went to see Whitley.”

  “She’s a plastic surgeon,” he said in exasperation.

  “I know, but she went to med school, and I trust her. I just needed an opinion. I can get a second. She said she’d recommend a fertility doctor if I wanted it.”

  He downed the rest of the scotch and then set it aside. His eyes were steely. “We haven’t even started trying, Katherine. You made it seem that you didn’t even want a baby… or that you weren’t ready. What brought this on?”

  I bit my lip and looked away. “I saw a friend yesterday who is infertile.”

  Camden touched my chin, dragging my face back to meet his dark eyes. “What does that have to do with you?”

  “We were… in therapy together.” I gulped. “After we were hospitalized for anorexia. She’d… she’d lost so much weight that even when she was better, she couldn’t have kids. It broke up her marriage.”

  Camden hadn’t even blinked at those words—therapy, hospitalized, anorexia. “And you think you will be the same?”

  “Maybe,” I whispered. “You seem very… calm about all of this.”

  “You think I didn’t know that you were hospitalized?”

  I wrenched back in shock. His hand dropped from my chin. All warmth fled me. “What?”

  “Katherine, we were getting married.”

  “The records were expunged,” I gasped out. “No one should be able to access them.”

  “I’m very thorough.”

  “No,” I whispered. “There’s no way. No one knows what happened to me. No one but the crew and my parents. My mother made sure that all evidence disappeared.”

  He shrugged, unconcerned. “I had to make sure I knew the woman I was marrying.”

  I stood. My mind was reeling. On one hand, it was good that I didn’t have to explain what had happened. But on the other, he had violated my privacy. What else had he looked at when he agreed to marry me? What else did he know that I’d wanted to keep from the world?

  “You should have told me,” I said. “Just because you read some hospital papers doesn’t mean that you know what I went through.”

  “You were kept in a private ward for eating disorder patients for six weeks.”

  I clenched my hands into fists. “Yes, against my will.”

  “Ah,” he said softly. “That’s why you hate hospitals and have to be in control.”

  “I don’t always have to be in control.”

  He raised an eyebrow, but I ignored his look.

  “Those six weeks were a nightmare,” I told him. “They say they saved my life. They don’t say what they took from me.”

  I strode away from him, the anger still rushing through me. It ached that he’d known about my hospitalization from the start. He shouldn’t have known, and yet he did. Was that why he asked about my food choices so often? He’d done it on the night of our anniversary. He’d looked at me strange in Puerto Rico.

  He came up behind me, running his hands down my arms and drawing me against him. He pressed a kiss into my hair. I wanted to yank away from him, but… I didn’t. He’d gone behind my back to get information about me. But he didn’t appear to think any less of me. In fact, he was… comforting me. I never would have guessed this of Camden Percy.

  “Don’t run from me,” he said against my hair. “I’ve seen the worst of you, Katherine, and I’m still right here.”

  I closed my eyes. Those words held power. A power that had nothing to do with his dominating personality and everything to do with… safety. I was safe here with him in this moment. He’d seen my fall, and he’d caught me.

  “I want you,” he breathed a second later.

  “You do?” I whispered into the empty apartment.

  “Yes.”

  “What if I can’t have a baby?” My deepest fear spoken aloud.

  “I’ll still want you,” he confessed.

  I swallowed. I couldn’t believe this was happening. That Camden Percy was saying these words. That he cared about me. That we were here right now.

  “Okay.” I leaned back into his chest, letting him draw me flush against his body. “Okay.”

  His breath moved to my ear, where he placed a soft kiss. “But it won’t come to that. We can figure it out together. There are so many options in front of us.”

  “You’re right,” I agreed.

  His lips landed on the sensitive spot right below my ear. “I love when you say that.”

  “Ass,” I muttered, even as I tilted my head to the side. He dragged my hair over my shoulder and trailed kisses down my neck. “Katherine,” he said, tightening his grip.

  “Hmm?”

  “I want you to move back in.”

  I stilled under his careful ministrations. I hadn’t lived here since it had all fallen apart between us. I stayed carefully sequestered at my own penthouse. Thankful that I’d never gotten rid of the place even though others thought it strange that we had two residences.

  “I don’t want you to stay in your place anymore,” he continued. “I want you here, in my home, with me.” He drew the strap of my dress down and kissed my shoulder. “In my bed.”

  I shivered at the words. “Camden…”

&n
bsp; “Say yes, Katherine. Just say yes.”

  God, wasn’t he offering me so much more than I’d ever thought I’d get from him? I’d thought I was marrying the devil. Well, I supposed that I had. But perhaps he was the devil I could live with. The devil I could even… come to love.

  “Yes.” The word released from my lips. “Yes.”

  He spun me around until I was facing him. I looked up into those dark, depthless eyes. My heart beat furiously in my chest. I felt like everything was shifting between us. That nothing would ever be the same.

  “Do you have your birth control with you?” he asked.

  “Uh, yeah,” I said, surprised by the question.

  “Go get it.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, but he didn’t even blink. I walked back to where I’d discarded my purse. I plucked out the small packet of birth control. The piece of paper that Whitley had given me sat on top of everything else. I wavered for a second and then grabbed that, too.

  He took them both out of my hands. “What’s this?”

  “Prescription from Whitley,” I said.

  He flipped the paper over and read what Whitley had written. He cracked a smile and shook his head. “I think I will keep this prescription for rainy days,” he said, stuffing it into his pocket.

  “What are you doing with—” I began.

  But he was already heading toward the kitchen where he opened the drawer for the trash and casually tossed my pills inside. My mouth dropped open.

  “Camden!” I gasped. “You can’t just throw away my birth control pills.”

  “You don’t need those.” He strode back over to me and pulled me into a hard kiss. “The doctor said to get rid of your pills and have sex with your husband.”

  “Yeah, but…”

  “Katherine, you want a baby,” he said, looking deep into my eyes. “That’s what this is all about. Let’s stop pretending otherwise. I’m happy to follow the doctor’s orders.”

  I blinked. “You are?”

  “Yes. I am more than ready to fuck you.”

  “I thought you were waiting until I earned it,” I reminded him.

  “Oh, darling, you’ve earned it,” he said, his voice raw and throaty.

  I shivered at the words. Finally.

  He crooked a finger at me. A half-smile on his perfect lips. “Come here.”

  He retreated a step at a time, and I uncertainly followed him into the rec room. The room was dark, lit only by recessed lights in the ceiling to illuminate the poker and pool tables.

  He stopped me in front of the pool table and twirled his finger. I turned in place, taking direction without comment. He tugged off my jacket, then gradually pulled my shirt over my head. My boots and leggings followed until I was in nothing but La Perla panties.

  “Do you remember the first thing you said to me when we started this?” he asked as he gathered up my long, dark hair into his hand. Then, he twisted it into a fist and pulled my head back, baring my neck.

  “Yes,” I chirped.

  He placed a kiss on my neck. I whimpered against his touch. I did remember, but I didn’t know why he was asking.

  “What did you say?” he asked, completely in control but somehow gentler than I’d ever heard one of his commands.

  “I said… you were an insufferable ass, and your money couldn’t buy you everything.”

  “I decided in that moment that I wanted to break you.” His voice was a sensuous brush against my skin. His hand slid down my stomach, enhancing that touch.

  I huffed in a breath. Break me. He wanted to break me.

  His hands slipped to the front of my panties, sliding just under the lacy material. I wanted to force his hand lower, but I knew he’d stop.

  “I’m sure you think that I meant I wanted to break you—body, mind, and, spirit.” He moved an inch lower, pressing just one digit to my waiting clit. My body was on fire. My mind trying to stay present. “Truth be told, I wanted all those things. But mainly, your will. That thing that writhed under your skin and came out with a vengeance anytime I talked to you.”

  He slicked his finger through my wetness and began to lazily circle my clit. I was caught between wanting to argue and wanting this so fucking bad. But I couldn’t stop my mouth from retaliating.

  “My will could never be broken,” I ground out.

  He didn’t stop at the words. Just breathed a laugh against my neck and pushed his fingers down so he could tease the opening to my pussy. “Oh, I could have broken your will, but I realized that as it fractured, I didn’t want that. I didn’t want you to become a shell of yourself.”

  “What do you want?” I barely managed to get the words out as he slipped a finger inside of me.

  “I want to shatter your mask,” he whispered against my skin. “I want to break down all those walls you put up against the world. So, when you look at me, the only thing I see is the real Katherine Van Pelt and not the pretender who parades around the Upper East Side.”

  He released me, and I stumbled forward against the pool table. I gasped slightly at the loss of him, coupled with his words. How had he done this to me? My walls were down. Any I’d had left disintegrated at our conversation. I’d spent so long building them that I hadn’t known if I could even take them down.

  “You’ve succeeded,” I breathed, turning slowly to look at him. “It’s just me.”

  He cupped my cheek, firm but tender. “Good.”

  Camden released me long enough to undress, and I watched his glorious body materialize. The gorgeous contours of his chest, the tempting V at his waist, the powerful structure of his legs, the muscular arms that so often held me in command. Everything I wanted. Just not what I’d known. Not with all my walls. Not as we had been. Finally, he stepped out of his boxers, revealing his cock to me.

  I stepped forward, eager for him.

  “Touch me,” he said before I could get myself in trouble.

  I took his cock in my hand and ran it down the smooth, strong length. At my touch, his cock was hard and pulsing. He was as ready for me as I was for him.

  Camden immediately grew impatient. He hefted me up and set me down on the pool table—at the perfect height for his taking.

  “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he told me.

  I saw sincerity in his eyes. He actually wanted this. Not just sex, but… me. Camden Percy wanted me. Just me.

  His hand slipped between us, parting my lips and making sure I was ready. I groaned and leaned back on my elbows.

  “You’re going to let me take care of you from now on,” he told me.

  I nodded. With his hand between my thighs, his cock poised to take me, there was no other response.

  Then he positioned himself at my entrance, and it felt momentous. He was in control, but this… this wasn’t like before. This was something new. No condom between us. No birth control. While I knew none of it worked instantaneously, I felt the difference between us. This was a choice, and we were choosing it.

  “Please,” I begged him.

  Something feral lit in his expression. I’d begged. He gripped me harder as if the words had made him want me more. What had I given up by refusing to beg him?

  And I found out.

  He entered me in one swift movement. His cock burying deep, deep, deeper until I thought I was going to collapse from the sheer force of him. He stayed there a second, as if breathing me in. The feel of me wrapped all around him. His eyes met mine, cool and hungry.

  Then he began a bruising pace. He was in control. He would always be in control here. And I wanted him to be. I wanted this.

  “More,” I gasped.

  He hauled my ass against the wood so that I was all but hanging off the edge of the table, giving him better leverage as he thrust into me over and over again. I lay back against the green felt. My body rocked every time he plunged into me. Then he gripped my hands, pinning them to the table. I was immobile, at his whim, and a fire burned through my core.

  This was fucking
and so, so much more than fucking. I couldn’t look away from his face as everything came into sharp clarity. I could feel him draw close. And I knew what I was going to scream into the empty room.

  “Oh fuck, Camden! Yes, I’m so close. Please, please, more. Just please, don’t stop.”

  And for a second, I thought he would stop just to hear me beg him to continue. But he was too close. He’d waited this long for me. The next time would be devoted to my sexual torment. Another time, I’d get welts across my bottom and thighs for my perfect insubordination. Perhaps he’d even choke me to remind me who was in charge. I was ready for it all. Right now though, I felt like I was going to black out as the pleasure hit me head-on.

  I came, crying out his name over and over again until it became a whimper. He continued to pummel inside of me as my walls contracted around his cock. My orgasm shuddered to a close, but he still pushed me and pushed me. Harder and faster still. Then, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he roared as he shot straight inside of me. He was magnificent. A triumph.

  He leaned forward over me as he came out of the throes of his orgasm. He rested his head against my stomach, releasing my hands. “Fuck,” he groaned.

  “Yes,” I agreed, running my fingers through his dark hair.

  “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He placed a kiss on my stomach.

  “Was it worth the wait?”

  There was fire in his eyes as he looked up at me. “Always, love. Always.”

  Part IV

  Always

  26

  Camden

  Katherine moved back in the next day. She slept in my bed. Well, truthfully, we’d slept very little those first few nights. But just having her there… it felt like a step in the right direction. I had told her I wanted her, and I’d meant it. I hadn’t known how much until I had her all the time.

  “What are you daydreaming about, you sap?” Court asked as he stepped into the rec room on Thursday evening.

  I glanced up at him and raised an eyebrow. “Watch it, Kensington.”