At First Hate Read online

Either way, cheer wasn’t my passion by a long shot. I preferred dancing and did so at a local studio, but the high school didn’t have a dance team, and Gran wanted me to be “involved”—i.e., she thought it looked good on my transcript. And now, I was strutting around in a skirt that my ass nearly hung out of, and the hottest guy I’d ever met was looking at me like I was a puzzle he wanted to figure out.

  A cheer rose from the other side of the stadium. Holy Cross had scored another touchdown. Their quarterback, Ash Talmadge, had run the damn ball in himself. I sighed heavily as they made the extra point, bringing the final score to 49 to 10. Depressing.

  “Better luck next week,” Coach called.

  I grabbed my cheer bag and slung it over my shoulder, heading for the stands to find Lila and Josie. I hadn’t seen them at all in the stands the second half. That likely meant that Josie had gotten them into trouble. What else was new?

  I crossed the fence and squinted for my girls when Derek stepped into my path. He was enormous in person, towering over me with bulk I hadn’t expected from a basketball player. And I hated to admit, he was hotter up close.

  “So, you really don’t want to go to the party?” he asked with a quick grin.

  It was hard not to look at his lips. They were the kind of lips girls spent money on fillers to achieve. Perfectly pouty and oh-so endearing. I snapped my attention away from those lips.

  “Why are you following me? It’s creepy.”

  He shrugged. “Public school girls don’t normally say no.”

  I rolled my eyes. “To you or your party?”

  He shrugged again.

  “Well, let me tell you, Derek,” I said, “I’m not like any other girl you’ll ever meet.”

  Then I shouldered past him to find Josie flirting with a football player, Kyle Curtis. Lila looked generally miserable.

  “Hey,” I said, dropping my bag at Lila’s feet.

  “Mars,” she said. “You killed it out there. That high kick put everyone to shame.”

  “Obviously,” I joked. I glanced at Josie. “How long will she be like this?”

  Lila raised her eyebrows. “How long do we have?”

  “Josephine Reynolds,” I called. “Can we keep the flirting to a minimum? I want to go home?”

  Josie put her hand on Kyle’s arm and then turned all dramatic to face me. “Marley Nelson, you will wait your turn. I am occupied.”

  I rolled my eyes at her. Most days I wished that my last name was Christianson like Gran’s. Nelson was from my father, whoever he was. He’d ditched mom when she found out she was having twins at the ripe old age of eighteen.

  “Maddox is going to be picking us up any minute. If we’re late, he’ll drive off without us. I’ve watched him do it.”

  Josie huffed. “Fine.” She twirled her fingers at Kyle, mouthing, Call me, and then followed us out of the stadium. “You got your ass kicked.”

  “Yep,” I said, “Lila’s team is better.”

  Lila groaned. “Let’s not. I’ve only been at St. Catherine’s for three months, and I want to die. I will never fit in there.”

  “Well, it’s better than being in Atlanta,” Josie complained.

  For as long as I could remember, Josie had spent every summer in Savannah with us. Her dad would drop her off the day after school got out to stay with her mom, who had a reputation in these parts the size of Mount Rushmore, and pick her up the day before school started. But we’d all gotten so attached, and she loved Savannah like it was home that her dad had agreed to let her drive down to see us now that she had a license. Another thing Gran would never, ever let me do.

  Maddox was waiting in an old Ford pickup that used to belong to Gramps. Even though we were twins, I didn’t have my license. We’d both turned sixteen three days ago, and Maddox had passed his driver’s test with flying colors. It was the only test I’d ever failed in my entire life. And so Maddox got the truck and the fun job of chauffeuring us around.

  “Get in,” Maddox said, reaching across the seat and opening the passenger door.

  It only had one long seat across the front, and we had to squash inside to fit. Josie practically crawled onto Maddox’s lap, then Lila, and then me after I threw my bag into the bed. He zoomed away with all the freedom that I was lacking.

  Maddox parked on the street, like everyone else in Savannah, and we trudged inside. Gran was waiting up for us, as usual, with Gramps snoring softly in the old brown recliner. She got to her feet as her eyes went to the clock. As if she didn’t already know the time.

  “Late game,” she said, pulling us each in for a hug. “Y’all win?”

  I shook my head. “Nah. We’re no good.”

  “Ah, next time, chickadee,” she said with a kiss to my forehead. “Now, change out of that ridiculous skirt. Y’all hungry?” A chorus of yeses followed. She nodded. “I’ll whip something up. I got some biscuits in the freezer, and I can make some gravy.”

  “Thanks, Gran,” Josie said, knocking her hip against Gran’s. “You’re the best.”

  “Nothing like Gran’s biscuits,” Maddox agreed.

  “And fried chicken,” Lila said. “Makes my mouth water thinking about it.”

  “I’m going to change,” I said and headed up the creaking stairs to my room.

  It was still decorated in a splash of pink from the days when I’d liked the color. I was more partial to dark colors now, but it wasn’t like we could afford much to renovate. So, pink it was. Lila and Josie followed in my wake, crashing into my room and dropping onto the bed.

  “So, who was that hot guy you were talking to?” Josie asked.

  I slipped out of my cheer uniform and into oversize sweats and a T-shirt. “Some Holy Cross guy.”

  “I missed it,” Lila said.

  “He invited me to a Halloween party.”

  Josie perked up. “Party?”

  “We’re not going,” I told her.

  “But…” She pouted.

  Lila laughed. “As if Gran would let her go.”

  “Tell her that you’re staying with Lila. Works like a charm.”

  “I don’t want to go.”

  “Well, I do!” Josie said. “Hot guys are my specialty.”

  “You’re boy crazy.”

  “You say that like it’s a bad thing!”

  Maddox cracked his head in. “Gran said food’ll be ready any minute.”

  “Excellent,” Josie said. She leaned against the door and fluttered her eyelashes at Maddox. “Do you think you could cover for us tomorrow if we go to a party?”

  “I, uh… have a gig,” he stumbled over his words, as he always did around Josie.

  “For what?”

  “Maddox is in a band,” I said, “remember?”

  “Local Carnage,” he said with a grin. “We’re, uh, we’re playing a local Halloween party for some rich dude.”

  I groaned. “It’s probably the same party. Gran is letting you go?”

  He scratched the back of his head. His dark hair falling into his eyes. “Well, I told her it was for a charity thing.”

  Lila cackled. “Brilliant.”

  Josie squealed. “Let’s do it!”

  Everyone turned to stare at me. The only one who had no interest in a Holy Cross party on Halloween. But how could I say no with everyone else on board?

  I sighed heavily. “Fine.”

  3

  Savannah

  October 30, 2004

  I didn’t have a costume.

  Josie was going as Marilyn Monroe, iconic white dress and all. Lila had gone for Greek goddess, complete with a skimpy toga that Josie had sewn into place. I’d declined a dozen suggestions. If Gran saw me in any of Josie’s outfits, I’d be in trouble for the rest of my life.

  Which was how I’d donned Lila’s St. Catherine’s uniform. A plaid miniskirt that Josie had hiked up against my protests, white button-up, and tie. Lila had fished out some knee-highs and braided two pigtails to give off the perfect Catholic schoolgirl effect. I felt like a fraud.

  “You look hot. Shut up,” Josie said.

  I rolled my eyes. “Easy for you to say.”

  I gestured to her. Josie was… Josie. Tall and tan with flowing black hair and hazel eyes. She was extroverted and flirtatious. She dominated a room. She always had. And then there was sarcastic, cynical, brainy, introverted me.

  “You do look hot,” Lila said with a shrug.

  Her blonde hair was loose and lips painted bright red. Long dancer legs were exposed against the white toga and black high heels. The benefit of having really hot friends meant no one spent too much time looking at me at least.

  “All right,” I said with a sigh. “Let’s do this.”

  Maddox was waiting out front in his truck. He wasn’t dressed up, except to look like a rocker, which wasn’t that different than his normal attire—ripped black jeans, a white Nirvana T-shirt, and his hair brushed forward to look emo. I was pretty sure he was even sporting guyliner.

  “Hot, Maddox,” Josie said, shimmying in tight next to him.

  He went nonverbal. Typical.

  “Just drive. Let’s get this over with.”

  Lila and Josie laughed at my lack of enthusiasm, but it was short-lived. It was hard to be with my two best friends and not be happy. We were so rarely all together that it would be a travesty to not revel in it.

  Halloween weekend in Savannah meant three things: one, my birthday, two, parking was shit, and three, the ghost tours were packed. If we had to lay on the horn at one more oblivious tour, I was going to go mad. I remembered why we never did anything other than birthday shenanigans for Halloween. Savannah was one of the most haunted cities in America. Any local could probably rattle off a half-dozen ghost stories without blinking, but the tourists made it all so
over the top.

  “We are never going to find parking,” Lila said, craning her neck down Gaston as we passed Forsyth Park. “Literally just park anywhere, and we’ll walk.”

  “In these heels?” Josie complained.

  “Deal with it,” I said. “We’re never going to find a spot near the square.”

  Josie huffed but nodded at Maddox. Then she pointed. “Oh there! Parallel park.”

  Maddox huffed. “Great.”

  Maddox sucked at parallel parking. Meanwhile, I was a pro from years of parking Gran’s minivan in the spot across the street. I’d baffled the person who administered my driver’s test by blowing the parallel park test out of the water and failing the actual driving part.

  “I’ll do it,” I offered.

  “You don’t even have a license,” Maddox said.

  “So? If you hit that Beamer, Gran will never forgive you.”

  Maddox sighed heavily and shot me a pained look. As if how dare I make him look bad in front of Josie. But he relented, and I swung it around with practiced ease.

  Maddox pulled out his guitar from the back, and then we headed down Whitaker. A gentle mist hung over everything as the humidity doubled the size of my hair. I tried to flatten it, so it looked long and glossy like Josie’s, but there was no hope.

  “This is the place,” Maddox said.

  All four of us gawked at the enormous Victorian. It didn’t matter that I’d lived in Savannah all my life; there was always a new mansion with giant oaks covered in Spanish moss, which left me slack-jawed. And this one came complete with a gold plaque, listing the residence as The Ballentine House, built in 1833. Well, at least that confirmed that it was Derek’s party.

  “Man, I want one of these,” Josie said, swinging open the giant wrought iron gate that led to the courtyard.

  “Don’t you have a house like this?” Maddox asked with a grin.

  She arched an eyebrow. “No, that’s Mom’s.”

  His smile faded. We all knew she had issues with her mom, which was why she was staying with us this weekend.

  My head craned ever upward, past the massive double doors to the sprawling white brick with tiered balconies. On some level, I had known that Holy Cross guys were rich, but there was knowing, and then there was knowing.

  “Holy shit,” I muttered.

  “Seconded,” Lila said, looping arms with me. “How the hell do I deal with this every day?”

  That was a fantastic question. St. Catherine’s and Holy Cross felt like a completely different world. A world we were about to enter.

  Maddox didn’t bother knocking; he just stepped into the mansion, which was already full. Everyone held a red Solo cup and laughed and chatted as if they’d all known each other their entire lives. I kept my mouth glued shut as we passed through the immense entranceway with its marble floor and two giant staircases leading up to the second floor.

  Josie dragged us through the house as if she owned it. We stopped in the kitchen, where booze covered every available surface. Josie grabbed us each a drink and passed them out.

  “I can’t,” I said, trying to pass it back to her.

  “Just hold it,” Josie said. She took a good long sip of hers. “Then no one will ask why you aren’t drinking.”

  “Fine,” I said with a sigh. I wasn’t opposed to drinking, but I preferred to do it in safer scenarios. Not at some random Holy Cross guy’s house miles from home.

  Lila winked at me as she took a sip of her drink and then pulled a face. “You’re not missing anything anyway. This tastes like shit.”

  I laughed as we followed Josie through the kitchen and into a living room the size of my entire house. Maddox was tuning his guitar as the rest of the guys got set up. I saw Danielle dressed like a black cat and waved. She pulled me into a hug once we walked over.

  “I didn’t realize until I talked to Maddox that this party was the same as his gig.”

  “Me either! But I’m glad you came,” she said with a smile.

  “I kind of got roped into it.” I gestured to Lila and Josie.

  Danielle grinned and hugged Lila. “We miss you at school. This year is just not the same without you.”

  “Tell me about it,” she said, taking another fortifying drink. Her eyes roamed the room. “I certainly don’t fit in with these people.”

  Danielle laughed. “No shit. This place is ridiculous.” She glanced back at the band. “I’m really just here for Jack. I don’t know if Leigh is coming.”

  Josie leaned in. “Is that your boyfriend?”

  She bit her lip, and the lead singer looked up from his guitar. His smile ignited when he realized we were all looking at him, and he sideswept his dark brown hair. His eyes were so crystal-clear blue that they seemed to see straight into our hearts. All of us melted at the same time.

  He hopped off the makeshift stage and slung an arm around Danielle. “Hey, y’all. You here for the Local Carnage show?” Then he nodded at me. “Mars.”

  “Hey,” I said.

  “Don’t think we’ve met.” Josie held out her hand. “I’m Josephine Reynolds. My friends call me Josie.”

  He grinned at her. “I’m Jack Howard. Friends just call me Jack.”

  “It’s so nice to meet you.”

  Lila shot me a look that said everything I needed to know. We needed to get Josie far away from Danielle’s boyfriend, or she’d have her claws in him by the end of the night. Which I’d hardly blame her. Jack was two years older than us in school and easily one of the hottest seniors. Not to mention, he had this charisma about him. If I were Danielle, I’d watch out where that smirk landed.

  “We’re here for Maddox,” Lila interjected.

  Josie shot her a look. “Yes. Maddox.”

  “Cool. Cool. Enjoy the show.”

  He winked at us and hopped back on the stage. Maddox waved, and Josie was already distracted again. Welp. My poor twin.

  “He’s great, isn’t he?” Danielle said in awe.

  I laughed at Josie’s expression and then let her drag us around the room as she made friends. Local Carnage began their set, and Josie went in search of more drinks while I watched my brother perform. They weren’t bad, but they weren’t going to blow anyone out of the water.

  “Look at what we have here,” a voice sounded behind me.

  I turned to find Derek Ballentine standing over me. For a second, my breath caught at the sight of him. He wasn’t in a costume that I could discern, just a pair of white shorts that revealed a few inches of tanned thighs with a thick brown belt, a blue button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and boat shoes. His dark hair looked wind-whipped, and he had these mercurial hazel eyes that were more gold than anything in the lighting of his mansion home. His perfect lips tilted upward at the sight of me.

  I managed an ounce of bravado. I lifted my chin up and met his gaze. “Can I help you?”

  “Marley, right?”

  “Yeah,” I said with an annoyed look.

  “Thought you were too good for my party?” He grinned this little half-smile, his lips curling up on one side, as insufferable as I could imagine. His eyes crawled my outfit. “And dressed like a St. Catherine’s girl. The girl not like anyone else is dressed just like everyone else.”

  I gritted my teeth. “I’m here for the band.”

  “Right. The band,” he said disbelievingly.

  “My brother plays guitar.” I pointed Maddox out.

  Derek barely glanced that way. “We both know you wanted to see me.”

  I actually snorted. “Keep dreaming, Holy Cross boy.”

  “You know, Holy Cross boys and St. Catherine’s girls go together.”

  “Is that what you’re supposed to be dressed up as?”

  He laughed. “No. I’m a sailor.”

  I looked him up and down. He just looked like a regular dude. “Right. Obviously.”

  He opened his mouth to say something else that I’d likely detest, but then his gaze shifted past mine, and his face dropped. I turned to search the crowd, but it was just a bunch of drunk people.

  “Excuse me,” he said and then brushed past me as if I weren’t there.

  He stormed right up to some girl. I didn’t recognize her, but she was beautiful. Waist-length, pin-straight brown hair in an all-white tennis outfit, complete with a racket. He grabbed her arm and furiously spoke to her.

  I shrugged and turned away. Probably his girlfriend. Maybe she wasn’t supposed to be here, so he could flirt with everyone else. Sounded like something Holy Cross boys would do.